Hello

Hello ladies and who ever else may stumble upon this… This is a place for me to vent and just sift through all the craziness that's going on inside my head where I don't have to censor myself and I don't have to repeat myself or worry that I'm telling each of you the same thing over again…

So the gist of my situation is that I'm 24 and married to a man I met when I was 19. We're currently living on opposite sides of the country due circumstance… combination of him being in the military and me wanting to have a career.

We've been living apart since early November, and soon after I made my way back to the east coast I had a total melt down. I was confronted with how much I was missing back home and how lonely I'd been in beautiful San Diego.

I was initially supposed to only be back on the east coast for three months for work while we waited for new work to come in on the west coast. The work never came, so I decided to take up my old office on their offer to transfer back for a year. So here I am living with my sister in law, the puppy my husband and I got in August, and trying desperately not to lose my mind.

Since early December I've been entertaining the big black hole of "what if" analyzing all the forks in the road I've met so far and wondering why the wrong way signs in life couldn't be as clearly marked as the ones on the road.

I knew I didn't want to be married so young especially without living together prior, nor did I want to be a military wife… I just don't know when I stopped listening to myself… when I became complacent and just started accepting things how they were…

I was so lost when I met him, and I was enchanted by how loving his family was. His family life was just such a stark contrast to the one I'd grown up with and they loved me as if I'd always belonged.  I can say without a doubt that he loves me unconditionally and I really don't think anyone will ever love me as much he does.

But sometimes the hardest truth to admit is that even though you may love someone, and they love you back, it doesn't mean that they are right for you or that you can reach happiness together…